VBS is a great place for kids to learn about Jesus and faith. But after being sent to the 7 in one Summer, some kids start to find some... flaws to complain about. Here are some of the best (worst) complaints about Vacation Bible School:
BY RICH DOUGLAS
As a Youth Pastor, I have the privilege of leading groups of students each year to different camps, some last just a couple days, or even a full week. Sometimes these camps are at a huge conference, where we’re among hundreds of students, and sometimes camps are just a dozen of us together in the wilderness. But after being in youth ministry for more than six years, I’ve started to see the same people at each camp. Maybe you remember these people, or you were one of these people…
1. The “Snack” Man
This was the guy you wanted to sit next to on the church van. With a snack bag he borrowed from Mary Poppins, he brings a never-ending supply of Pringles, Twizzlers, and any other food you could imagine. Sure, he always had Doritos on his fingers, but you didn’t care (as long as he didn’t wipe it on you in the church van).
BY COREY WADE
With my degree in Bible and almost a decade of experience teaching Sunday School, I feel it is my solemn duty to tell you that the Church has been doing small groups wrong for the last 2000 years. All those Godly men and women sadly missed the mark for over a couple millennia. But do not fear, this 29-year-old has finally figured out the secret to church growth that has eluded all our forefathers. I have laid out before you a plan to make new visitors feel most welcome when they come into your small group. Do the following steps and no one will EVER leave your small group. Since I’m hoping to turn these timeless tips into a book deal, I have broken these steps into a catching and life affirming acronym:
BY RICH DOUGLAS
Nostalgia is all the rage in the world of fashion these days. We're here to help you, Mr. or Ms. Christian, embrace your faith -- 90's style!
Make sure you place the bracelet on your most prominent hand, so when people go in for a handshake, they know you’re serious about your faith. If they don’t ask about it the first time, make sure to bring it up for them. “In case you didn’t know…”
Double points if you have them on both wrists.
Corey Wade | @cwadepga
What is one of the most things about Christianity is that somehow we have managed to make ourselves a culture, within a culture, within a culture. What I mean by this is that: 1. We are different than the lost world (or SHOULD be), and; 2. People within the body of Christ are very different from one another (every tongue, tribe, nation, sports team, and pronunciation of Augustine). This creates a delightful subculture which has its own traits and practices that are unique, and well odd. Let me share with you some of mine. Some may refer to these as superstitions, but…………Jesus.
Don’t say the “D” word: As a young married’s Sunday School teacher this comes up a lot. The “D” word here is divorce. We can't even acknowledge its existence. If you even have this word in your vocabulary and utter it at any time, a judge will spring out from behind a pew and force you and your spouse to separate and move to differing countries. You have been warned.
Robert Stevenson | @ap_527
The philosophical ponderings of our day are deep and weighty. Should we pray the imprecatory psalms? What would Jesus do? Free will or election? Kirk or Picard? Credit or Debit? And of course, every young boy’s favorite: if you could have any superpower, what would it be? Actually, I’ll have to answer that twice and cheat a little bit on the second answer... or else this will not be very funny.
Never stopped you before, Robert.
Oh! Rim shot!
Jeff Weddle | @anti_itcher
Compliments make Christians uncomfortable, especially compliments at church. We know church is about Jesus and glorifying Him, therefore, this is no time to compliment a person. How lowly. How Pharisaical. How worldly.
Therefore, the Body of Christ can be one of the least complimentary and most unsupportive groups of people in the world. Praise God!
However, there’s a chance Christians don’t compliment in church enough because you’re not trying hard enough to get compliments. It’s a possibility. Here are several pointers in getting a compliment-filled Sunday morning:
1) Play Music Badly
This doesn’t sound right, but trust me, it works. If you can sing or play an instrument, do some sort of musical performance in church and completely mess it up. If you play well, people won’t want to “give you a big head,” so they won’t compliment you. But if you mess up royally, the compliments will pour in. Sure, they’re all lying, but you’ll rake in the compliments.