Corey Wade | @cwadepga
Here at the Back Row Church Nursery, we are happy to help you find your best fit in serving Christ. All roles and jobs are important and vital to our ministry, so please read the following job descriptions to find where you will serve best according to your gifts:
Senior Adult All-star: You have raised enough children and grandchildren to form a small militia. In the snow, 15 miles both ways mind you. Your presence serves as the backbone of our labo- uh, volunteer force. You are full of knowledge and we want you to dispense this knowledge to absolutely anyone within earshot. Home remedies of questionable origins are most encouraged.
Youth Church Skipper: Do you have a burning desire to skip the 9 am service at any cost? The church nursery is just the place for you. This is an entry level position and to gain entry, you must make sure to be able to make a case for your own helpfulness and willingness to serve. Upon successfully making said plea, please make sure that your serving includes staring blankly at your phone and avoiding eye contact with others at all costs.
Newbies: The position is reserved for those newly married and hoping to start a family one day. What better place to practice than with the sweet little angels in our church nursery?
*** On an unrelated note, Back Row Church is not responsible for any injuries sustained during nursery service, popsicle stick related or otherwise.***