Last August, a woman who leads a Celebrate Recovery program in her home church came to an online Facebook group asking for help making a list of "You Might Be a Redneck"-style jokes for people who are in Celebrate Recovery (a faith-based 12 step program for all habits, hang-ups, and hurts that we here at The Back Row fully endorse). She was putting them together for a skit to celebrate their 11th year running!
I thought it was too funny not to share! I've collected some of the best and re-worked a few others that had potential and come up with a list of 20. So, here they are:
You might be in Celebrate Recovery if...
...after you introduce yourself to someone you've never met, you also tell him your struggles.
...you yell "No Crosstalk!" whenever a friend interrupts you.
...you can't learn anything new unless it's presented in an acrostic.
...you can't stand near a cliff, by the ocean, or in a field without raising your arms up in victory and worship.
...when your co-worker is complaining about their spouse, you remind them to use "I" statements only.
...you can't concentrate on one person talking for longer than 3 to 5 minutes at a time.
...you feel conflicted when someone asks for a Kleenex.
...you don't play Gin Rummy in case one of your friends is struggling with alcohol.
...someone gives you a chip and you are disappointed that it's edible.
...you refuse to teach the intern how to do his job, but you'll tell him how YOU learned it.
...whenever you see the Nile River on a map of Egypt, you chuckle.
...you hear yourself saying "Pass" at staff meetings.
...you hear "and now a word from our sponsor" and expect to hear wisdom.
...when the new janitor introduces himself as Bill and you loudly reply "Hi, Bill!"
...you end all conversations with "Thank you for letting me share."
...you do an inventory of yourself because of your reaction while standing in the long checkout line.
...when you ask someone how they are and they say "Fine," you respond, "No, really... how ARE you?"
...when the Pastor reads the beatitudes on a Sunday and you can't keep yourself from reading them out loud with him.
...you can't remember anyone's name who doesn't have a name tag on.
...when your computer alerts you to a malfunction, you are just proud that it admits it has a problem.
Feel free to share at your Celebrate Recovery meetings and share this all over social media!
A slightly snarky Christian podcast that focuses on Humor and Healing for the Saved but Still Human. We're just regular people who love the Lord and love funny stuff. We don't get super controversial, but instead intend to make you smile for a little while.
Ep. 57: Jesus Junk (Season 2 Premiere)
Ep. 58: That Hope Life
Ep. 59: Over Saved
Ep. 60: From Chaos to Sanity
Ep. 61: Christian Cussing
Ep. 62: Life and Will
Ep. 63: Cutting Room Resurrection IV
Ep. 64: Why Does God Allow Christian to Suffer?
Ep. 65: The Time God Wrestled in the WWE
Ep. 66: Wrestling with God
Ep. 67: Praying in Public
Ep. 68: Boundaries with Friends
Ep. 69: Christian Break-Up Lines
Ep. 70: The First Annual BRBP Music Hour
Ep. 71: Un-Grieving the Holy Spirit
Ep. 72: You Asked For It (AMA Episode)
Ep. 73: Back Talking on "13 Reasons Why"
Ep. 74: Unwritten Church Rules
Ep. 75: Cutting Room Resurrection V
Ep. 76: The Big Parenting Podcast (Part 1)
Ep. 77: The Big Parenting Podcast (Part 2)
Ep. 78: Making Amends
Ep. 79: Everything Wrong with VBS
Ep. 80: Awkward Church Stories
Ep. 81: American Christianity
Ep. 82: The End is Near
Ep. 83: Celebrate Recovery Summit Special 2017
Ep. 84: What Music Can Christians Listen to?
Ep. 85: Christianese Translations
Ep. 86: When Tragedy Strikes
Ep. 87: Caffeine - The Christian Drug of Choice
Ep. 88: Cutting Room Resurrection VI
Ep. 89: Women Fighting Porn Addiction
Ep. 90: Men Fighting Porn Addiction
Ep. 91: Pew! Pew! Pew!
Ep. 92: Operation Christmas Child
Ep. 93: Ween-tentainment
Ep. 94: #MeToo
Ep. 95: Back Row Brawl II
Ep. 96: Thanksgiving: Just Christmas Practice?
Ep. 97: The Cyber Monday Special
Ep. 98: Christmas Movie Favorites
Ep. 99: Year-in-Review 2017 (Season 2 Finale)
GO TO SEASON 1