James Daman | Guest Writer
My name is James and I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who has overcome sexual sin and anger.
The person I am today is not the same person that I was eight years ago when I walked through the doors of Celebrate Recovery. I was a broken man. I was living a lie, I had no idea what God’s path was for me, and I didn’t know the truth about who I was. I didn’t know what it meant to truly have a relationship with someone, especially Christ. This is the story about who I was and who I am now.
I grew up in the Midwest, the son of a pastor and for many years, I felt like I couldn’t be honest. Even as a child, I felt like my behavior was constantly monitored and that I had to mask who I truly was. Everyone in my church knew me as the Pastor’s kid, so if I misbehaved, it was immediately noted and reported back to my Dad, who was the pastor. This happened so often, that my Mom took over my Sunday school class. I guess she was tired of hearing about my behavior and needed to manage it constantly. I also had a severe speech impediment as a child; it was so bad that I couldn’t even say my name. When I would stutter at home, my little brother would hold my throat just so I could talk, which for some reason, always helped.
I was relentlessly bullied as a child due to my speech impediment and the fact that my family didn’t have a lot of money. This made school brutal, I couldn’t find much solace at home because my parents divorced when I was 9 and told me that I had to choose which parent I would live with. I chose my Dad, but he worked a lot and wasn’t home much, so when I brought home good grades, no one was there, except the TV and video games. The bullying and loneliness I felt as a child made me feel like I was lost in a black box, where I couldn’t find the exit. I knew I needed to get out, but couldn’t. The divorce made things very difficult at home.
My life at this point was tough, I had family members in my life that would constantly curse at me say things like “I wished you were never born.” However, God had his eye on me because he put someone else in my life.
I had weekly appointments with my speech therapist and counselor. God put her in my life to show me what unconditional love meant! I took solace in the time we spent together. She helped me gain confidence in myself and overcome my stutter. I got more involved in my church and went to a church camp for most of the summer. At summer camp, I made so many friends and I wasn’t bullied at all; I felt transformed in this environment and accepted Christ into my heart in middle school. I was heartbroken when I had to move on to my last year of middle school without the support of my speech therapist due to changes in the school district. Starting school again, meant summer camp was over and I soon lost touch with the Christian friends I met.
I had a few friends my last year of middle school but I was still bullied constantly. I spent most of time outside of school playing video games and most of my time in school planning how I was going to beat them. During my transition from middle school to high school, I was introduced to the “cool kids” and craved their attention and because I spent so much time with them, we became like a family. I felt accepted and not threatened by my peers for the first time besides church camp. I noticed that they paid the most attention to me when I emulated everything they did, including things I’m not happy about. I got even more attention from them when I took things to the extreme and went even further than they did. Looking back on this period of my life, I realized these “friends” really took advantage of me. I never got back what I gave them.
Matt Coker | @MatthewSCoker
My name is Matt Coker and I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with pornography, overeating, depression, and co-dependency.
I’ve given my testimony a quite a few times in the past few years, and I’ve always focused a lot on what God has saved me from. But now that I’ve got some significant clean time under my belt, I plan on also sharing what God has done with me since. But first, let me tell you how I got here.
Usually, when I give my testimony in person, it's when I'm standing in Celebrate Recovery meeting. And not many people tend to come to CR because they have a problem with pornography. But statistically, 80% of the men and 50% of the women have viewed pornography in the last month and 50% of the men and 20% of the women look at it habitually, addictively. In fact, that's true of ALL men and women.
So, the odds that you reading this right now have a problem with pornography are high.
I'm about to say something that might shock you, but I beg you to read until the end. Don't jump ship when I say this, because it's hard for me to admit, but a necessary part of my story: I’m a registered sex offender. And when someone wears that label, people immediately assume you have done the worst, most disgusting, perverted, devious things a human being can do and you are endangering them and their children just by existing.
So, what did I do to get put on this list?
Daniel Foster | @DanielFoster07
Saved at the age of eight, I didn’t really experience a dramatic change in my life the moment I accepted Christ. I mean, at eight I wasn’t heavily involved in sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll if you catch my drift. However, I did buy into a lie sold by satan himself, that I believe he attempts to sell to all new believers - that once I became a Christian, life was going to be incredibly easy. Now that I have Jesus on my side, bad days were a thing of the past, right?
Wrong. The good life lasted about a year, and then my parents got divorced. I remember it like it was yesterday. On that night it felt like my entire life was caving in. At nine years old, my family had been torn apart. I remember the anger and confusion I held towards God. As a Christian, why in the world would God allow such heartache to enter my family? A question that would go years unanswered.
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